One of the Best Advice... (^;^)
May. 14th, 2009 at 8:58 PM
When I was in primary school, I was bullied A LOT by one group of kids. It was so bad that I do not remember my 4th grade year. There was one kid in particular who bugged me. I did not tell my parents about it especially in the beginning but it was really eating me alive, affecting my school work.
So one day I refused to go to school and locked myself in my room. When Sosai came home, (more like walked "up" home since our home was just above the office and the dojo), my frantic mother obviously had spoken to him.... I did not speak all during dinner nor next morning. Or that whole week I think... Sosai did not say anything significant in relations to my refusal to go to school either.
As time passed by I felt myself slip out of my protective shell and just as I started to relax (or forget) about my brutal treatment from my school mates, (some were older) he gave me one of the best advice- in life I guess too.
He said, "Who's is bothering you?" (He never asked nor did I speak about my refusal going to school, which is interesting),.
I said, "Everyone". (In reality it was only 4 or 5, as I recall)
He stared at me a bit (which seemed damn long for me...) and he said, "Is this boy or a girl?"
I said, "both".
He stared at me intently... I remember he was really looking serious... and was really taking in
what I was "speaking" to him.
He said, " I will tell you what. Next time any kid bothers you, take the nearest thing- a rock, a book, a pencil case... (I guess a blunt object) and lay him or her out".
I was shocked of his suggestion... so I was silent.
And he went on, " Just do not hit on the head and do it away from the ear, aim the jaw".
I was still silent.
Next day I went to school. I felt very quiet. I guess when I look back now, I was preparing.
So I did it when the next incident came around.
To my surprise, I actually "felt" good. And it worked.
I got in trouble, my parents were both called in the principal's office. Sosai was scolded by the Catholic sister's of the school. He apologized to the boy's parents too. But he turned to wink at me.
On the way back in the car, I put my head on his lap and slept all the way back home.
Since that incident, no one bothered me anymore and I made life-long friends.
Though I won't advise my child to do the same, it was a great lesson for me that stuck with me all through my life. Someone had invaded my "space" - my being and I learned that no one will stick up for you if you don't do it yourself.
Many years later, when my mother was used a bill board- we felt so invaded and claustrophobic. To learn to be honest and strong enough never allow oneself to deviate from what we choose to do was the hardest thing and sometimes, being "nice" is the worse deceit of all- especially to one self.
All choices we make should come from most truthful place of our beings and that is what I learned from Sosai. I am still learning of his advice and to this day it had helped me through the toughest cases. Regardless of the outcome, he had shown me that the only way is to never deviate from what is most true in our hearts and we have to protect it with all our being.
